Define: “Making Peace with Myself”

WARNING: Reading the following rant will just be a waste of your time. Really, I just feel like letting them out without a care in the world if someone’s reading it or not. Just a way of channeling my frustration, I guess? *shrug*


Why hello again,

Do you remember that part of Jason Mraz’s song about having to know what we got, what we’re not and who we are? Lovestruck people usually won’t notice this part as they are too engrossed with the other more romantic, more heartfelt phrases. For me personally, this sentence is what turns those little gears in my head, what makes me fall into my usual deep-in-thought catatonic phase.

Why is it that these words are the ones that I cannot stop thinking about?  Well, it doesn’t take long until I understand why. I don’t know about you, but for me, those words are so much easier said than done. Knowing what we got, what we’re not and who we are means to really understand ourselves and to accept it as it is. For those people who are comfortable in their own skin, it’s not a special thing to do. It comes naturally, you accept yourself, you love yourself (in a healthy way, of course.) But for me, sadly, it doesn’t come as a whole package.

I can be vain. I’ve got a HUGE ego. But sometimes, somewhere  deep inside the thick layers of pride and hand-me-down confidence, I’m a terrified little girl who’s always trying to hide. She HATES to not be in her comfort-zone. She doesn’t show up often, but she’s there deep inside. And I said ‘hand-me-down confidence’ because, well, it’s something that’s not naturally mine. I only copied my elder brother in my younger years, and it stick with me up until now. Had I been born an only child, I’d be that weird dork who spend her time reading dorky stuff at the corner of the room, possibly with only 2 or 3 friends.

For people who don’t really feel comfortable with themselves, accepting is not that easy. Making peace with yourself, some people say, can be really difficult. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I hate myself , it’s not like I want to kill myself or something (oh please, cue the eye-rolling.) It means that sometimes, sometimes, I feel like how wonderful it would be if I were… more than what I am now, which is very lacking, in my opinion. It doesn’t happen every  so often, but when the thought hits you, it can be as harsh as looking at yourself in the mirror, and hating what you find there.

Unlike some annoying people who say bad things about themselves just to get compliments, when I say I don’t like something about me, I’m being honest. What others say is almost irrelevant. When I look into the mirror, most of the time I can’t see the girl staring back at me as someone beautiful. Her face is so-so, something’s wrong with her hair, her teeth aren’t perfect like how they used to be, her hips are too wide, her  thighs are too thick, she doesn’t have long slender legs, oh the list can never stop, really. My folks will be furious if they know that I think this way, as I might (or might not) be overreacting, and I look just fine (to them). But in my eyes I’m lacking, even when I know that saying those words mean that I’m being ungrateful of what God’s given to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I’m a ‘perfect’ human being. Being a med-student, knowing how many defects and diseases can befall people, it’s almost impossible for you not to be grateful for a healthy body. But sometimes, that part of you just, you know, goes green with jealousy when you see people that look effortlessly beautiful in your eyes. People that can be instantaneously close with other people, active people with loads of achievements and friends all over the place.

I’d love to make peace with myself. To love myself not just because of my huge ego, but because I accept myself, satisfied with what I got, what I’m not and who I am. It seems like I still need a lot of time to learn, though.

until the next time we meet,


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You Might Not Want to Read This Long Rambling

Why hello,

It’s been quite some time, hasn’t it?
And even though I am very much aware that nobody cares about this blog, my need to update a little something in the middle of this sleepless night is just too big. So, here goes.

I admit that lately I’ve been very VERY lazy to update my fanfics. Oh my, that sentence itself is an understatement. I said to people “I’m on hiatus since I’m preparing for university entrance test.” Well, that is not a lie, but how long has it been since I’ve regained my freedom again? Oh yeah, around 5 months or so. And not a single update at Mmhmm, been real bad aren’t I? Tsk, tsk.

Now, while I’m (kinda) ashamed of myself, I have no other choice but coming out clean to you guys.  First reason, I’m too lazy, second, I’m a dedicated procrastinator, third, I’m lazy. Yes, I’m that bad, but also not that bad either. You see, my journey into my desired university was not a really ideal one. I fought, yes I really did fight hard. But before I finally got accepted, pssshhhhh, boy you don’t want to feel how it’s like to be me. So, let me warn you guys first (assuming that there really is a very bored someone who’s actually kind enough to spare some time just to read this) that starting from the line below, it’s going to be a long and (most probably) boring stuff we Indonesians call ‘Curcol’ a.k.a ‘Curhat Colongan’, so, ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride.

Remember my post all those months ago? About going to a university in Yogyakarta? (Actually it’s more like about Yogyakarta, and btw it’s been more than a year since I posted it, but oh well, who cares?) Important thing is, I got accepted. Damn, I was so freaking happy I cried when I saw my name on the list. Like what I said earlier though, it was not the most enjoyable ride to the top. You see, first of all I fail the National University Entrance Exam when that’s the only way for me to get this said university in Jogja. Boy, was I disapointed. :/  And as if that weren’t torture enough, I fail all the other exams that were given by the other prestigious universities (ujian mandiri SIMAK, SMUP etc., if you’re an Indonesian, I know you get the idea). I took 4 of those tests, and all those universities just had to give out the result each a day, 4 days in a row. Which means for those 4 days, I receive rejection again and again. Oh dear.

But then, I took the 5th test, the ‘final’ test. My last chance if I still want to live my college life in this country where I was born in (well, getting shipped to Germany where my brother is would be extremely wonderful, but that’s another story). It was the International Programme Faculty of Medicine, Gadjah Mada University. I took the test, and I held my breath until the result is published around a month later (but not literally, of course). And there I saw my name. I was so happy I cried (yes, I’ve mentioned it, but I feel like telling you twice). That university is my dream university. Many of my friends prefer that one university whose faculty of medicine is in Salemba, Jakarta (again, you’ll get it if you’re an Indonesian) but honestly, I don’t. I used to say to my parents that I feel like I belong in Jogja. I want to move from this crowded, hectic city, away to somewhere more remote and friendly. And voila, here I am.

It’s going to be a total LIE if I say that I don’t miss my hometown. Yes, Jekardah is really annoying most of the time, it’s hectic, it’s hot, polluted, and everything’s more expensive there than it is here. But it is my birthplace. My longing to go back to that city every once in a while is completely justified.

All those things aside (talking back to fanfiction-centered stuff, shall we?) the reason for my lack of update lies in the hectic-ness of my new life here. No, I don’t spend 24/7 studying, of course, rather, I dare say that I’m quite my lazy-usual-self. I eat, sleep, watch korean dramas, read some fanfics and mangas, then spare some leftover time to study, but after all those long months without writing anything, I feel like my writing skill is getting rusty. I opened my fanfics and I cringe at how crappy they are. I know that I will always fall into the same hole again and again in term of writing stuff. I’ll just hate them after a few months I posted them. But after more than a whole year? And things will just be easy if I acquire new skills in writing, problem is, I realize that my skill now is even worse than how it used to be. Then how am I supposed to not be frustrated?

But hey, I think writing this crazy rambling kind of help me getting the hang of it back. Yeah, after all, I write this not because I hope some random people will be interested to read (which is least likely), rather, I type this to get the rusts off my fingers. Ahh, it feels so damn good to hear those clicking sounds my keyboard makes. My dearest readers who are patient enough to read all these crappy nonsense, I dare not promise you this, but I think it won’t take another month or two until I’m back to updating my stories in 🙂

until the next time we meet,


p.s. I know this is 3 months late, but yoroshiku onegaishimasu, Kota Pelajar. Guess I’ll be spending the next 4-5 years with you.  🙂

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What comes with the rain

“In this life, big things make you happy, but small things keep you alive.”


Like the small, enjoyable things that come with the rain.


I enjoy sipping a cup of hot tea when it’s raining outside.

I enjoy curling up snugly under my comforter when it’s raining outside.

I enjoy the pitter-patter, pitter-patter,  as my lullaby as it’s raining outside.

I enjoy the air that smells of earth and water when it’s raining outside.

I enjoy being flooded with inspirations as it’s raining outside.

I enjoy opening my windows widely when it’s raining outside.

I enjoy listening to the wipers swinging right to left, right to left, as it’s raining outside.

I enjoy how lazy you can be when it’s raining outside.

I enjoy the feel of tranquil and calm serenity as it’s raining outside.

I enjoy how it feels like everything’s going to be alright when it’s raining outside.

I enjoy putting on my raincoat and walking around under my umbrella, in the pouring rain—pitter-patter, pitter-patter—outside.



until the next time we meet,


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いろは歌 – Iroha Uta

Iroha Uta

If you have a strong need for me to be
I am as a dog who cannot be free
With a cord, with a rope, or with a chain
Within your reach I will always remain

If you want, then as a kitten I’ll be
And I will then do so dutifully
With fingers, with feet, and with my lips
I will satisfy all of your needs

I can be a camellia flower
Blooming in winter’s every hour
With rain or frost having me deep encased
My display cannot be replaced

Or maybe you would instead prefer a rose
To see it in an almost falling pose
With the hair and the neck wafting sweet smell
Being wrapped in death’s scent as I fell

That’s the translation of Kagamine Rin’s ‘Iroha Uta’, one of my favourite Vocaloid songs. They’re not complete though, I just picked the important parts (not including the refrain). Well, there’s something that caught my attention the first time I read it. I’ve known the song for almost a year or so, and surely I’ve read the translation of it too. But, I’ve never run into this poetic version before. The translations I used to read were rough. Understandable, but it lacked the beauty of the true lyric held. Besides, the translators weren’t paying attention to its rhymes. Unlike this one.

Reading the first and the second quatrain, immediately gives me the mental image of a chained girl. Imprisoned and enslaved, yet enjoying it nonetheless.  To make it short? My head’s suddenly filled with BDSM images. LOL 8D

Perverted things aside, a plot bunny then came and nagged me to write a fanfiction about this.  Ouuh, I can’t be more thrilled. I’m planning to make a KakaSaku with the poem, Kakashi being this sicko, twistedly sexy man in his early-thirties. And a 19-year-old Sakura as his… ‘pet’. ‘Chained’ and ‘imprisoned’ in Kakashi’s big house. The settings might take place in old Japanese (considering that ‘Iroha’ is an antique, classic, Japanese poem and all.)

But that would also mean that.. I’m not going to update ‘Bad Romance’ anytime soon. Sorry guys, I’m a little egoistic (inner-self: DUH! *roll eyes*), but I’m facing a huge writer’s block right now, so… yeah. I’ll finish it as soon as I get my ideas back though, don’t worry! 🙂  Just, be patient with my one-shots for now. 😀

p.s. Iroha Uta literally means the Song of Iroha.

until the next time we meet,


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Of Looks and Life’s Eternity

Whuuuuuuu!!!! Akhirnya saya pulang!! Selamat tinggal nebeng di kost-an sepupu! Tidur tanpa AC! Nyapu ngepel sendiri! Nyari makan sendiri!

And welcome back the sweet sweet life of a spoiled rotten child. Nyahaha! Oke, ini sebenarnya nggak baik. Tujuan saya disuruh kesana kan sebenarnya biar jadi mandiri. =_= oh well, saya flexible kok. Saatnya mandiri ya mandiri, saatnya santai ya santai.

Ah! Siapa yang nanya soal keadaan saya? Cuekin aja, yang penting saat ini saya punya seuah hadiah untuk semuanya HAHAHAHA ( =_= kaya ada yang baca blog ini aja..)

Ok, ini fanfic lama saya 5 bulan yang lalu, tapi dulu grammarnya sampah gitu. Jadi sekalian memperbaiki kecacatan di masa lalu, saya post ulang sambil saya benah-benahin dikit. enjoy! 😀

Pairing: HarukaxJuuri from Vampire Knight.
Rate: T (for incestuous relationship)

Oh, and in vampire years, Haruka would be around 24 and Juuri 13. (Because I’ m a sicko just like that 😉 *wink*). But if you can’t stand the mental image, then.. well, just imagine their age as you please :p

: This Blood We Share :
-Of Looks and Life’s Eternity-

Haruka had always thought that the life of a vampire, a pureblood one nonetheless, was a boring one. Maybe even the word boring was an understatement.

As a pureblood, it was just expected to appear calm and cold all the time. A statue carved out of an iceberg. It was customary to show not even the slightest bit of feelings in front of another vampire. Because feelings indicated weakness, and weakness was something you would never want to show to other vampires, especially the ones you really couldn’t put your faith onto. Showing weakness was like offering yourself to be eaten. Like throwing a timid rabbit into a cage of starving wolves. Except, in this case, you are the rabbit.


Haruka chuckled at the thought. There was never faith in the life of vampires. No such meaningless thing existed among his race. That’s what he had believed so far.

Sometimes he even wonders about the dark and unreadable gaze, flickering through his brother’s mix-matched eyes whenever he looked at him. Haruka had never really paid attention, but it just happened to bug him as he caught the unsettling emotion in his brother’s eyes more frequently lately. The emotion would only show itself for barely half a second, but it was there nonetheless. This indistinguishable looks Rido had been shooting him, sometimes it felt like jealousy. But to think about it this way would just confused Haruka even more.

What Rido Kuran—the smart, strong, handsome and the next-to-be-king Rido Kuran—could possibly want from his younger brother, who, though was just as smart and handsome, had a more preserved and a little bit anti-social nature.

Haruka’s train of thoughts were put to a halt as he caught a distinct, peculiar noise from somewhere in the Kuran’s humongous manor. From the sharp hearing his vampire ears possessed, the brunette could tell that it was from somewhere around the west wing—his personal territory—of the house. Taking notice of the light yet firm clacking of short-heeled shoes against the polished marble floor, he easily identified her signature sound of foot steps. Elegant and flowing with hints of pride and authority—something she took after Father, without any doubt.

But something felt amiss about it. The steps were harsher than usual, more clipped and piercing. Echoing in the halls that was void of any presence but hers, cutting through the thick silence sharply.

A small smile crept onto his face as the sound increased in volume.

She’s coming his way.

Closing his thick, leather-bound book with a soft thud, his eyes lazily drifted to the oak doors, couples of meters away across from where he was sitting right now behind his pristine mahogany desk. Leaning back against the luxurious Victorian couch, Haruka’s smile grew even wider as he counted inwardly.




The doors slammed open none-too-gently, revealing a pissed-looking Juuri.

“Hello, Juuri. To what do I owe the pleasure of you coming to me in this wonderful afternoon?” Haruka greeted—half teased—his sister calmly. A fond smile lingering on the corner of his lips.

“You cheater!!!” The angry, adolescent vampire blurted instantly. Stomping her way into the chamber and plopped herself down onto the crimson chaise settee in the middle of the room unceremoniously.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You took all the best features!” She sighed in exasperation. Throwing her arms up impatiently like what she was saying was the most obvious thing in the whole world. “You know? Just a couple of minutes ago, I went to your room—looking for good books, not that I want to meet you or something, mind you—and can you believe what I did find there?”

A single eyebrow rose in mild curiosity.

“The servants! While cleaning your room, they were gossiping about you. Oh how your eyes are so placid and serene. Or how you seem so calm and cool, unlike me!” She made a poor imitation of the said maids as red hues started to tint her auburn irises in anger.

“Ah,” Haruka rubbed the thumbs of his intertwined fingers that were rested upon the desk together softly and looked at them like they were the most interesting thing in the world. His face remained impassive and calm. “I’m sure you already know that you shouldn’t let their words get into you, Juuri.”

“I wouldn’t if only I didn’t think that they’re right myself.” The younger vampire huffed and raised an accusing finger towards Haruka. “You’ve got Daddy’s towering built, and Mom’s hooded eyes. You even have her shinny chestnut hair!”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Juuri dear, your brunette is just the same as mine, give or take a few shades.”

“It’s still not the same.” She countered in an obstinacy to match a five-year-old’s. Making Haruka chuckled softly.

“I like your eyes better,” he offered. Yes, that pair of liquid-fire eyes of hers. They held strength and pride and power. Those are the kind of eyes no one could defy. The eyes of an arrogant queen yet a loving little girl at the same time. Haruka shivered in—sinful—delight at the thought of the eyes, burning red in hunger as she would pierce his skin and sink her elongated fangs into the nape of his neck to take his blood.

Haruka blinked twice. Immediately halting his none-too-innocent-imagination to an abrupt stop—thus dissipating the blood-red tint that started to appear on the outer line of his irises. “Indeed. I love your eyes.” He smiled to his one and only sister mysteriously.

“You’re just saying that to shut me up.” The queen-to-be folded her arms in front of her chest and sunk deeper into the plush of the seat. “Or just because you’re my brother.”

“No.” Came the quick reply of Haruka. “You should have known that I would never lied to you.” He chided the sulking girl.

“Besides,” the second prince of the Kurans leaned forward and rest his elbows against the desk’s corner. “Why should I make you stop? I like your voice.”

“Ugh! Stop with the teasing, will you!” Angrily Juuri slammed her feet against the floor. She threw a menacing glare towards her brother and casually propped her legs upon the coffee table in front of her. All the time glaring at Haruka as if challenging the elder vampire to scold her for the inappropriateness of her actions.

Haruka sighed inwardly. Juuri was certainly one of a kind.

He wondered how someone can be so proud yet so insecure at the same time.

She didn’t have the dreamy, elfish-look of Haruka and their Mother’s because she had taken after the brilliant, flaming beauty of their Father’s—not to forget, the fiery temper also.

One could easily see that she was vibrant and passionate, and that was the kind of beauty ones’ eyes would always follow no matter where she went. The striking image of a quickly blooming queen-to-be.

The young vampire rose from his seat and walked over to the chaise settee, his sister’s eyes kept plastering to him with every graceful step taken. Haruka plopped himself down right beside Juuri and scooted closer when said girl distanced herself from him. With long, slender arms he took his sisters legs from the coffee table and rested them on his lap.

“You know Juuri? You are beautiful. And I’m not saying that just because I’m your brother or because I’m trying to please you.” The palm and the tips of his fingers were slowly ghosting over his sister’s ankles, up to her bare calves.

“Really? Why is it so hard for me to believe you then?” The head-strong little princess kept a futile attempt to stay cool and looked angry despite the shivers that were threatening to run down her spine as she felt Haruka’s fingers brushed against the sensitive skin on the back of her knees.

The second prince’s eyes glinted in amusement and mischief as he scooted closer to his sister. “Are you hinting that, you want a proof?”

“I’m not—!” Juuri was caught off guard as one of Haruka’s arm flung itself over her slim waist, pressing their bodies flushed against each other. While the other arm—that was stroking her legs earlier—shot forward to tilt her chin. In less than a second, her lips were suddenly captured by her brother’s in a feverish, searing kiss.

All thoughts were flying out of the window as Haruka’s tongue delved into the caverns of her mouth and tease her own to join it in an ancient dance of passion and love as old as the time itself. The younger—and inexperienced—vampire just couldn’t help but to tighten her hold at the front of her brother’s front shirt and whimpered at Haruka’s domineering kiss.

She was a strong and proud girl. One that could easily have her wishes and orders done, by many noble vampires nonetheless. Submission was, absolutely, not her thing. But right at that time, right under her brother’s weight upon her and his demanding kiss, Kuran Juuri—the only daughter of the Kuran Empire and the next to sit upon the Queen’s throne—couldn’t help herself but to let her brother dominate her. A little nagging voice at the far back of her mind even groaned in terror as she realized that she actually liked being dominated by this man.

Haruka pulled away just enough to breathe in much-needed fresh air before he continued trailing feather-light kisses down Juuri’s jaw line. Down, down he went until he nibbled lazily on the pale flesh at the juncture of his sister’s neck.

“Well, obviously, only a beauty like yours can make one loses his entire mind and started to kiss one’s sister like I just did, don’t you think?” He murmured a breathy whisper to his very flushed, very dazed, sister.

Juuri snapped out of her reverie and shook her head to clear her mind.

“Ha-Haruka! You—!”

“Yes, Juuri dear?” The elder vampire mumbled casually, still enjoying the softness of his sister’s neck. Smirking internally at said girl’s lost of words.

“You pervert!” Juuri blurted out. Still blushing furiously from their earlier ministrations. Quickly she scrambled to the furthest end of the coach while pressing her palms against her burning neck.

“Only for you, Milady.” Haruka chuckled deeply.

Juuri stared in horror as her brother threw her a much-too-innocent, boyish, lopsided smile and moved closer with one hand reaching out to her. The young brunette flinched, her eyes closed tightly in anticipation of yet another attack from her brother only to be surprised by a warm, gentle hand, softly patting the top of her head in a completely platonic way. Disheveling her brown tresses everywhere.

“Hey, smile now, Sister dear.” The Kuran’s second prince pinched Juuri’s flushed cheeks teasingly. “You know you’re much prettier that way.”

The long-haired princess was left perplexed by her brother’s attitude. Just a few seconds ago he was this kiss-hungered pervert, and here he was right now, an affectionately teasing elder brother.

She quickly untangled herself from the male vampire and tried—in vain—to smooth her wrinkled dress. “Don’t play all innocent now, you!”

“I don’t.” Haruka chuckled in amusement.

“Ugh! You ruined my dress!” Juuri tugged at the hem of her white cotton dress, which was all smooth and neat earlier. The dress was now crinkled and had lost its two top buttons. “And it’s one of my favorites.” The little brunette girl sulked.

“I’ll get you new ones the next time I’m going to the Ouris’.”

“Will you really?” Juuri’s eyes lit up suddenly in excitement. The town where the Ouri clan resided was, after all, famous for having the finest tailors with the best dresses and suites ever known. Moreover, it would be even much more special if it was her brother himself that’s buying the dress for her.

“Sure, what’s there not to give to my Juuri?”

“Oh thank you, Haruka!” the beautiful princess squealed and threw her arms around her brother out of reflex. Practically glomping him. “Come to think of it, because you’re being so nice as in buying me a new dress, maybe I’ll forgive you for cheating.”

“Persistent about this ‘cheating’ thing, aren’t we?” The male vampire pat his sister’s back softly. Smiling at her childishness.


Warm and genuine laughs came out heartily from both vampires as they indulged themselves in each other’s embrace. Like a child that she was, Juuri had completely forgotten about the earlier ‘attack’. She was, after all, still too young to recognize things such as lust. Thus she brushed things like the kiss off quite easily. She did love Haruka, but in which way, she hadn’t yet known. The elder vampire didn’t mind though—for now, at least. As long as she loved him now, they could work the other things out as she matured naturally.

Haruka was enjoying the innocent gesture from his sister when he picked another presence beside the two of them, nearing the room. He recognized it as one of the servants, walking timidly towards the room. Must be something to do with either him or Juuri.

“Excuse me, Juuri-sama. The professor for your scientific study has already come and is waiting for you now.” A servant girl spoke slowly from outside of the room, accompanied by soft knocks on the wooden door.

“Tell her to wait for me; I’m changing my attire first. I’ll meet her when I’m ready.”

“Understood, Juuri-sama.” Juuri and Haruka listened to the faint footsteps of the servant walking back to the main part of the mansion.

The younger vampire then rewarded her brother with a peck on the lips before she released her grip from him and skipped merrily towards the door.

“Bye-bye for now, Haruka.” She smiled. All trace from earlier tantrum was long gone from her face.

“See you later, Juuri.” Haruka tilted his head, resting it against the armrest of the settee. “Study well. Remember not to eat the teacher.”

Juuri rolled her eyes at her brother’s remark and proceeded outside the room with one last wave of goodbye. Leaving behind only the remnants of the vibrant, lively atmosphere that seemed to follow her, no matter where she went.

Now that the room was void of her presence, Haruka noted that it felt dim and lifeless. Empty.

Folding his arms behind his head to provide more comfort, Haruka propped one leg over the other, both of which dangling over the armrest at the other edge of the couch lazily. The vampire smiled softly to himself.

The life of a vampire, a pureblood one nonetheless, was a boring one. Maybe even the word boring was an understatement. But maybe, if he added Juuri to the equation, then, it would be so much different. If he had his dear Juuri to spend the eternity with, he thought it wouldn’t be boring at all. Au contraire, he could imagine what colourful centuries—millenniums—would come his way, their way, with Juuri at his side.

Maybe, after all of his endless doubt, faith did exist. Now that he finally found one thing he could put his faith in, he actually did believe. A faith in his love for Juuri. For their future together, throughout the eternity of their lifes.

‘Sure.’ Haruka yawned and sunk himself deeper into the soft plush of the settee beneath his body. As the sweet taste of Juuri—apples and cinnamon—was still thick, lingering at the tip of his tongue, and the intoxicating scent of her shampoo clung to his shirt, a satisfied smile stretched wide across his lips.

‘As long as there is Juuri.’


Hahahahaha. They’re only 11 years apart, sooo.. it doesn’t count as a lolicon ritee? sure sure xD besideees, it’s not like they stop growing up or something, in the end, they’ll look like they’re of the same age anyway  :p

Yap, I guess it’s enough madness for today. Catch ya later! :))

so until the next time we meet,


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Yogyakarta: Kota Pelajar

Hai hai,

Liburan kali ini, saya memutuskan untuk liburan sendiri ke Jogja.

Mengapa sendirian?

Yah, kedua orang tua saya sepertinya harus sibuk mengurus segala keperluan studienkolleg kakak saya. Lagipula, saya juga sedang ingin liburan yang bebas, tidak ada pengawasan orang tua. Jadi saya ke Jogja tanggal 15 kemarin, dan lalu menginap di tempat kost sepupu saya di sini sampai pulang nanti tanggal 29. Hehe!

Selama 3  hari sudah saya lalui di sini, banyak hal menarik yang terjadi. Dari mulai menganggur menunggu sepupu selesai kuliah, mati lampu, mati air (ARGH!! Ga bisa keramas!!!), ngemil tengah malam, hingga keliling Jogja hanya dengan Rp. 3000,- per orang. Iya, cuma keliling secara literally tapi. Dengan kata lain naik bis TransJogja (sejenis Trans Jakarta, tapi gapake jalur spesial segala) dan menghabiskan 2 jam lebih pindah dari satu bus ke bus lain dan menikmati perjalanan panjang mengitari Jogja, yg karena ga keluar shelter-nya sehingga gaperlu bayar lagi, tentu saja. 🙂

Sebenarnya saya cukup senang di sini. Berhubung saya bawa modem, saya bebas ol tiap saat dengan meminjam–menjajah–laptop sepupu saya. Tapi… seperti biasa, sebagai manusia yang penuh dengan paradoks, saya malah nggak banyak dapet inspirasi ketika punya banyak waktu luang untuk update fanfic.

Misalnya, kemarin adalah tanggal 17 Juni yang notabene merupakan International Father’s Day. Sebagai seorang penderita father-complex akut, sudah layak dan sepantasnya bagi saya untuk minimal mengepost sesuatu di ffn demi merayakan hari tersebut. Nyatanya, saya tidak kedatangan plot-bunny apapun, dan berakhir tidur pukul 03.00 pagi setelah melek baca komik seabrek. Shame on me!

Oiya, kembali mengenai Jogja, saya setuju bahwa kota ini disebut sebagai Kota Pelajar. Karena (selain banyaknya makanan yang dijual dengan harga pelajar–CIHUY! 8D) begitu banyak pelajaran berharga yang saya dapatkan di sini.

Berikut adalah list-nya:

1. Ini adalah hal yang paling umum, dan pastinya sudah kita semua ketahui. Di sini (Malioboro), currency IDR dalam membeli barang-barang agak berbeda dengan di tempat umumnya. Misalnya: Rp,00 Malioboro =  Rp 5.000,00 Jakarta (atau tempat lain yg umum di Indo) atau Rp 115.000,00 = Rp 30.000,00.  Intinya? Ati-ati ketipu abang tukang jualan. :p

2. Sambal termasuk makanan utama masyarakat Jogja. Banyak banget warung tendaan yang menunya cuma ditulis ‘Sambal Bawang’ atau ‘***** Penyet’ (silahkan ganti ***** sesuka anda, bisa Ayam Penyet, Tempe Penyet, Telor Penyet, dsb. yang itu maksudnya objek ***** tersebut digepengin di atas cobek berisi sambel). Tapi saya nggak protes lho! Afterall, saya suka banget sambel. Mmhmm :9

3. Naik motor harus pakai helm, atau Pak Polisi akan datang dengan wajah garang. (Kenapa saya harus jauh-jauh ke Jogja cuma buat tau tentang ini? Karena saya ga pernah naik motor di Jakarta. Sedangkan di sini saya kemana- mana naik Trans Jogja atau motor sepupu saya).

4. AC adalah anugrah. Sekarang juga, ucapkan terima kasih dan cium AC-mu!!!

5. Nasi Kucing sama sekali tidak mengandung daging kucing. 8D

6. Para Bapak Delman yang budiman tidak mau meminjamkan delmannya hanya untuk foto-foto walaupun dibayar. Sayang sekali… padahal saya suka kuda (dan mau numpang gaya). sigh 😥

7. Saya belajar naik bus gaul! (yang diawali dengan kata ‘Trans’) :D. Saya belum pernah naik Trans Jakarta, tapi udah pernah naik Trans Jogja. (Iya, emang saya kampungan. =_=)

8. Jika anda berkendara dengan motor atau dengan angkutan umum, SELALU SEDIA PAYUNG ATAU JAS HUJAN. Kecuali anda mau tau gimana perasaan anak kucing nyemplung comberan (ditingkah kekalahan Jerman melawan Serbia, percayalah itu sama sekali bukan pengalaman menyenangkan). *shiver*

9. Kuda bisa dimakan. (Jangann!! Mereka terlalu manis dan lucu untuk dimakan!! uhuhu D’: )

10. Di sini lebih banyak Circle K daripada Indomart.

Nah, di atas adalah masih sebagian kecil dari semua yang sudah saya pelajari. Huhaha! Sekarang saya sudah merasa lebih komplit sebagai seorang manusia! (kecuali kenyataan bahwa saya belum mandi karena kost-an sepupu saya yang mati airnya. huhuhu D’: )

Oh iya, mengenai fanfic-fanfic yang semestinya saya update, tolong sabar dulu ya teman-teman. Begitu saya tidak terlalu sibuk liburan *slapped* saya akan segera mengepost chapter berikutnya. Walaupun sepertinya fanfic yang pertama bakal saya post dalam waktu dekat ini adalah sebuah fic Light/Sayu (ya, Yagamicest :3 ) yang ditulis dalam English karena kalo dalam Bahasa Indonesia saya sedikit ragu bakalan ada yang mau baca pairing ini. Tapi… hei, siapa tau? hehehe 😀

Ngomong-ngomong, saya minta ditato nama saya yang ditulis dalam Aksara Jawa Hanacaraka lho di lengan! Hihi, saya senang sekalii 🙂 hehe,  maaf nggak penting.


until the next time we meet,

yuushigureHalo, aku gajah yang manis dan tampan. Lihat belalaiku!

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Dear Stalker


Membaca judul di atas, biasanya orang akan langsung membuat asumsi mengenai sebuah roman picisan klise mengenai seorang wanita yang jatuh cinta pada stalker yang membuntuti dia.

Jangan terburu-buru dahulu kawan. Mampirlah sejenak, dengarkan kisahku.

Begini. Saya tidak percaya sama apa yang sering disebut orang ‘Love at First Sight‘. Saya percaya, bahwa cinta adalah sesuatu yang datang, tumbuh dan berkembang secara eksponensial dengan mengalirnya waktu. Tidak bisa kita mendadak cinta kepada seseorang kalau baru sehari kenal, apalagi kalau hanya pernah melihat wajahnya.

Tapi saya percaya, bahwa manusia bisa ‘tertarik’ kepada seseorang hanya melalui sekilas pandangan mata.

Rasa ketertarikan ini, tentu saja, sifatnya hanya sekadar sampul plastik alias fisik. Karena itulah ketertarikan ini tidak pantas diartikan sebagai cinta. Lebih tepatnya nge-fans kali ya?

Ngapain juga saya tiba-tiba bahas hal seperti ini? Beginilah ceritanya.

Siang ini, seperti yang bisa anda lihat di post saya sebelumnya, saya pergi ke GJUI bersama teman-teman. Di sana, saya bertemu oleh seorang makhluk laki-laki yang sedap dipandang mata. Bagaimana tidak?

Tadinya saya hanya melirik sekilas, kemudian asik membicarakan kelebihan si non-suspecting-victim ini dengan kawan-kawan. Tapi kemudian wajah yang tergolong ‘cantik’ itu tidak kunjung hilang dari kepala saya, dan jadilah kemanapun saya melangkah, ekor mata saya selalu jelalatan menyapu keramaian, mencari sesosok tinggi berbalut jaket kulit biru tua dan jeans panjang warna hitam.

Saya dan teman-teman sempat terpencar. Saya berdua, dan tiga orang lain pergi beli minum. Di tengah keramaian lokasi untuk stand-stand penjual makanan dan minuman itu, mata saya akhirnya menemukan apa yang sedari tadi dicari-cari oleh alam bawah sadar saya.

Sang pemuda tampan, sedang diminta berfoto bersama segerombolan kaum hawa yang nyengir-nyengir kegirangan sambil membentuk lambang peace dengan jari telunjuk dan jari tengah (pose paling populer sejak zaman kuda gigit besi, betul? :] ).

Eh, tunggu dulu… foto bersama??

Oh la la, tentu saja saya tidak mau kehilangan kesempatan untuk ikut diabadikan dengan kamera bersama sesosok bishounen itu. Yang saya bingung adalah, dia itu bukan orang yang sedang ber-cosplay!?

Normal kalau orang-orang minta foto bersama para cosplayer. Saya dan teman-teman juga dari tadi jeprat-jepret sana-sini bersama mereka. Tapi pemuda di depan saya ini kan hanya pengunjung biasa seperti saya?

Fine, he’s got a nice sense of fashion. Kaus hitam yang pas di badan, jaket kulit biru donker, a pair of nice-fitting dark jeans, kacamata full-frame berpotongan persegi panjang dengan bingkai hitam yang bold, rambut hitam yang modelnya kurang-lebih seperti Tamaki Suoh, dan sepatunya juga gaya. Di antara putra adam lain yang datang ke GJUI hari itu, dengan mudah ia menduduki posisi nomor 1 sebagai cowok yang paling ‘enak dilihat’.

Apalagi dia tergolong tinggi semampai (saya yakin tingginya minimal mencapai 180cm), kulitnya putih, jerawat pun tidak ada. Walaupun dibilang ‘cantik’, garis rahangnya tegas. Matanya bersahabat dan hidungnya tinggi (salah satu aspek yang paling menunjang, menurut saya). Susah (banget) ‘kan mencari cowok seperti itu?

Maka saya tidak mau kalah. Saya segera menebalkan muka, memutus urat malu, dan berjalan maju dengan gagah berani untuk minta difoto bersama juga. Yang dia balas dengan anggukan kepala kecil beserta senyum-tiga-jari.

Maka giranglah saya, dapat berfoto dengan sang bishounen (yang kemudian kembali dirubung oleh cewek-cewek lain).

Selesai foto bersama yang (terasa terlalu) singkat itu, saya kembali bekeliling bersama teman-teman. Tapi tentu saja, mata tetap dalam keadaan ‘Siaga 1’. Hingga akhirnya sudah tiba saat kami pulang. Dan, betapa beruntungnya, dia beserta teman-temannya, berjalan di depan kami!!

Dengan obsesi gila seorang stalker, saya mengikuti si bishounen sampai dia masuk ke mobil (yang sayangnya bukan milik dia, karena yang menyetir itu temannya 😥 huh. ) dan mencatat nomor polisinya. BENAR! Segila itulah saya jika sudah berniat. hahahahaha.

Apalagi selama 1/5 dari perjalanan Depok-Jakarta, mobil kami berjalan beriringan. Mobil yang saya dan teman-teman saya tumpangi penuh dengan jeritan-jeritan nyaring yang sangat fangirl-ish dan tidak sadar usia (kasihan supirnya). Dan supir teman saya itu (menyadari obsesi gila kami *ehm*saya*ehm*) melemparkan ucapan ringan bahwa pemilik mobil itu juga tinggal di daerah Jakarta Timur berhubung plat mobilnya B ****  T*. dan T pada bagian akhir itu menunjukkan Jakarta Timur. Wah, kami semua tidak bisa lebih kalap lagi. 🙂

Sesampainya di rumah, saya segera menggunakan segala cara (google, facebook, twitter) untuk mandapatkan jati diri sang bishounen. Mulai dari melihat seluruh friend facebook MC acara tadi, sampai melihat satu-satu orang yang menulis di wall fb GJUI. Walaupun sayang sekali hasilnya nada, nol, nihil. 😦

Tapi tidak apa-apa, saya masih punya plat nomer mobil yang ia tumpangi, bukan? khukhukhu.

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Gelar Jepang UI 2010

Hello folks 🙂

Siang hari ini, saya dan teman-teman saya yang sama-sama suka segala hal yang berbau Nihon pergi ke Gelar Jepang Universitas Indonesia a.k.a GJUI di FIB UI, Depok.

Saya sangat senang dan excited untuk datang, karena inilah kali pertama saya mendatangi event Jepang seperti ini 😀

Kami sampai di tempat acara awal, jam 10 pagi pas bertepatan dengan dimulainya kegiatan. Tadinya kami bengong-bengong aja karena lokasi masih sepi, tapi setelah keliling-keliling stand selama kurang lebih 20 menit, mulai berdatangan para cosplayer. Dan tentu saja, kita minta foto bareng.. haha.

Sejujurnya, isi post kali ini cuma mau saya penuhi dengan laporan lengkap berikut foto perjalanan saya bertemu dengan para cosplayer keren di GJUI. Sehingga buat teman-teman yang kemarin ngga bisa dateng, enjoy yaa 🙂

Young Kakashi :3
Ini Kakashi muda, hehehe.

Ini mas Halloween atau siapa gitu =_=a

Euh, saya ngga  tau ini siapa :D
Ada yang tau ini siapa dari anime apa? 😀

Madame Red from kuroshitsuji!! xD
Madame Red nya kakkoiii 🙂

Kagamine Twins <3
Kagamine Len & Rin! incest!! xD

Hotaru from Samurai Deeper Kyo
Kakak yang jadi Hotaru ini keren yaa, bakiaknya tinggi dan ‘kaki’-nya cuma satu di tengah. jadi kaya pake enggrang 😀

Wah, sejauh ini itu aja yang bisa saya post. Semoga bisa mengobati sedikit rasa penasaran yah. hahaha 🙂

so, until the next time we meet,


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Okay, so this is the beginning of my blogging life with wordpress. I made this account on an unexpected impulse. Just something I might do as a refreshment. A place where I can say whatever I want and get rid of my stupid writer’s block.

Maybe, I’ll talk mostly about my fanfictions with little bits of my life here and there. I hope by writing here, I can both improve my linguistic skills and destroy all those nasty writer’s blocks.

so, until the next time we meet 🙂

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